BPD is Sucks

The harder I love, the further I am tortured.

For the love of God, why me? Why BPD? Why does my brain work like this? Can’t I be normal for a second? Can’t I accept that I am loved, rather than viewed as disgusting?

I mean... my dearest is always kind. My dearest is the epitome of an angel falling down from heaven. My dearest is a beautiful human being and a strong-minded person.

But my mind always betrays me every second of it. It takes my happiness away and places me on a dark path.

We are having fun... really... Every time I spend with my dearest, my soul is reborn. I have never experienced this kind of love before. It feels so intense, so beautiful, so powerful.

But my brain forces me to believe that my dearest is sick of me. Tired of my existence. Hence, wanting to erase me from their life.

And every time I think we are done, DONE, my dearest shows me how beautiful our life is. Their smile is so bright, it freezes me. Their behavior so wild, it surprises me.

Please, I just want a normal life. A normal love. A normal brain.

PS: It's just my brain. No one owes me anything. Love, care, or generosity.