Wondering

You left me wondering
Is this kindness?
Is this your nature?
Am I reaching or being delusional?

You left me wondering,
What are you up to at night?
When you try to sleep,
Do you recall our conversation?

Do you feel a tingling in the corner of your finger
When it brushes mine
Or strokes my shoulder?

You left me wondering
Is it okay to feel for you
To kneel, worship, and serve you
Or does it feel unsettling and burdensome to you?

Do I need to take a step back
And only see you from far away
Like I have for the past 1.5 years?

Or can I admire you from near,
With a small promise:
I will never, ever make it difficult for you,
Because I just want to make you the happiest angel
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