Pain in the Ass

My last post may be shocking for a lot of people. But… it’s life, and life is not always predictable, right?

At first, I was not planning on coming out. My trigger for writing about my love life was Mr. Whatsit. I think I am insane just for thinking about how deep my hatred for him is. We are still connected, and I, in fact, still need him. I have to suppress my hatred every time we communicate.

He is kind and does not harm me. He just… he has flaws, and he can be a shitty person to other people. My view of him was shattered, and I became disappointed.

My love immediately disappeared and turned into hate.

I’m kind of afraid that this will happen again and my love will turn into hate for her. I tried my best to always see the good in her.

To be honest, she is not that good either as a human. She has flaws. She has zero empathy, and her emotional intelligence is lower than I expected.

Sometimes I feel like an idiot because talking with her is painful. She always has those weird points of view and makes me feel bad just because I choose to talk to her.

My conclusion is that whether you date men or women, a lot of people out there are a pain in the ass. They are not worthy of love.

Oh, maybe she is doing all of that on purpose so I stop loving her.

Maybe I just have bad taste. Maybe I need to rethink whom I fall in love with. Or maybe I need to stop falling in love and choose to be single forever.