Recovery Isn't Linear

Do you remember when I told you that I've been in remission since the end of 2025?

Remission doesn't mean that I'm completely cured. It simply means that, overall, my condition has improved. I've made progress over a certain period of time. I can still experience symptoms or small episodes here and there, but overall, I'm doing much better than before, and my condition is much more under control.

I think I entered remission around October or November 2025. That was when I first realized that my condition had started to improve. After that, for months, I was very disciplined about taking my medication, going to bed early, avoiding staying up late, avoiding going out at night, and sticking to my routine.

Everything fell apart in May 2026 because of work. I had a side project, and the workload was overwhelming. I had to stay up late, I took my medication late, and sometimes I even forgot to take it altogether. My meals became irregular, my medication schedule became irregular, and I wasn't getting enough sleep.

Eventually, I slipped into a hypomanic episode.

It was a really unpleasant experience. During hypomania, I had trouble sleeping even though I was taking sleeping medication. I also became much more emotional, more irritable, and noticeably harsher toward other people.

For someone who is under a psychiatrist's care, takes medication consistently, attends regular follow-up appointments, and is in remission, I'd say this episode was probably about a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst. So it wasn't extremely disruptive or severe, but of course, I still didn't want it to happen.

If I hadn't been taking medication, seeing my psychiatrist, or working with my psychologist, I think it easily could have been an 8 out of 10.

Gradually, things got better. I'm no longer in a hypomanic episode, although I still need to take lorazepam every night to help me sleep because, even though I feel sleepy, I still find it difficult to actually fall asleep.

Honestly, I'm really happy because my condition is so much better than it was in previous years, especially compared to before 2025. I've never felt this stable before.

I even fell in love, had my heart broken, got into a relationship, and went through other emotional experiences, yet none of those things caused me to relapse. They didn't trigger another episode. That's how stable I've become, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

I really hope my condition continues to improve.

Right now, I'm in a neutral phase. I'm neither depressed nor manic. Overall, I'm doing quite well. Sometimes I just feel a little bored, which is why I've been trying to find new activities to keep myself engaged.

I'm writing this as an update so that, when I read this blog again in the future, I'll remember that I went through this.